#TBT – The Greatest Tigers Announcer of All

It’s Thursday, so let’s do like we do when the other team hits a home run. THROW IT BACK.

To Ernie Harwell, the best announcer the Tigers have ever had.

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No offense to Rod, Mario, Dan, or Jim, here. Ernie Harwell is simply as good as they come. There are few people who enjoy what they do as much as he did, or who are as gracious for their opportunities as he was:

God blessed me by putting me here for thirty-one years at Michigan and Trumbull.

Go Tigers.

Tigers Playoff Picture Update: 9/18

Early in the season it seemed to be a foregone conclusion that the Tigers would run away with the AL Central and roll effortlessly into the postseason. That was before inconsistency set in. Now, the Tigers find themselves in a close race. They’ll have to play well down the stretch to keep their playoff dreams alive. This is your daily update on their mission to do just that.

Current AL Central Standings

  1. Detroit (84-68)
  2. Kansas City (83-68)
  3. Cleveland (78-73)
  4. Chicago (69-83)
  5. Minnesota (65-87)

The Tigers’ lead in the Central has been trimmed to just a half a game, and crunch time is upon us.

Current AL Wild Card Standings (GB)

  1. Oakland (E)
  2. Kansas City (E)
  3. Seattle (-2)
  4. Toronto (-5)
  5. Cleveland (-6)

With Oakland’s loss last night, Kansas City was able to even things out atop the Wild Card race.

What Happened Yesterday?

The Tigers jumped out to an early lead against the Twins, but couldn’t hold on to it. David Price was far from amazing, and as a result the Tigers lost 8-4, dropping 2 out of 3 to the last place team in the AL Central. Meanwhile, Kansas City seems very aware of the fact that “every game counts” (barf), and handled their business accordingly, topping the White Sox and Chris Sale 6-2.

What’s Happening Today?

Nothing. The Tigers are both off today, but they start a three game set with one another tomorrow. The series obviously has major implications in terms of the AL playoff picture, so we can only hope the Tigers are up to the challenge. They’ll send Verlander, Scherzer, and Porcello to the mound against the Royals in KC.

Are the Tigers Going to Make the Playoffs?

Who the hell even knows anymore?

Tigers Playoff Picture Update: 9/17

Early in the season it seemed to be a foregone conclusion that the Tigers would run away with the AL Central and roll effortlessly into the postseason. That was before inconsistency set in. Now, the Tigers find themselves in a close race. They’ll have to play well down the stretch to keep their playoff dreams alive. This is your daily update on their mission to do just that.

Current AL Central Standings

  1. Detroit (84-67)
  2. Kansas City (82-68)
  3. Cleveland (77-73)
  4. Chicago (69-82)
  5. Minnesota (64-87)

The Orioles clinched the second AL playoff spot last night with their win over Toronto, which means the Central is the only division without a clinched playoff spot. The Tigers have a 1.5 game lead over the Royals.

Current AL Wild Card Standings (GB)

  1. Oakland (+1)
  2. Kansas City (E)
  3. Seattle (-1)
  4. Toronto (-5)
  5. Cleveland (-6)

What Happened Yesterday?

Fuck. The Tigers made Ricky Nolasco look like a Cy Young contender for most of the night before stringing together some (more) ninth inning magic in the top of the final frame. JD Martinez is seeing the ball better than he probably ever has in his career, drawing tough walks, getting base knocks, and mashing dingers when they matter most. After putting up three runs in the top of the ninth to take the lead, the Tigers promptly pissed it away in the bottom half thanks to Joe Nathan and Ezequiel Carrera. Instead of extending their lead over the Royals, the Tigers stood pat as Kansas City dropped their decision to the White Sox.

What’s Happening Today?

The Tigers will send David Price to the mound tonight as they wrap up their series in Minnesota. Kansas City squares off against the White Sox and Chris Sale, who is not a human being.

Are the Tigers Going to Make the Playoffs?

Not unless they get this fucking bullpen in order. Jesus.

 

Tigers Playoff Picture Update: 9/16

Early in the season it seemed to be a foregone conclusion that the Tigers would run away with the AL Central and roll effortlessly into the postseason. That was before inconsistency set in. Now, the Tigers find themselves in a close race. They’ll have to play well down the stretch to keep their playoff dreams alive. This is your daily update on their mission to do just that.

Current AL Central Standings

  1. Detroit (84-66)
  2. Kansas City (82-67)
  3. Cleveland (76-73)
  4. Chicago (68-82)
  5. Minnesota (63-87)

The Angels clinched the first AL playoff spot last night with their win over the Mariners, but the TIgers are still in a tight race in the Central. They’re sitting on a 1.5 game lead over Kansas City. Last year at this time, Detroit was 87-63.

Current AL Wild Card Standings (GB)

  1. Oakland (+1)
  2. Kansas City (E)
  3. Seattle (-2)
  4. Toronto (-5)
  5. Cleveland (-6)

With Seattle’s loss to the Angels last night, Detroit’s playoff hopes were improved ever-so-slightly, as they now have a larger edge over the Mariners.

What Happened Yesterday?

The Tigers jumped out to an early lead, but the Twins battled back. It took some 9th inning magic to put the Tigers back ahead 8-6, which would be the final score of the game. The Royals had some late-game heroics of their own to complete a comeback win against the White Sox, who just couldn’t get the job done.

What’s Happening Today?

The Tigers are back in action against the Twins today with Porcello on the mound. The Royals will send Liam Hendricks (who?) to the hill against the White Sox and Chris Bassitt, who we hope can hound the Royals into the “L” column.

Are the Tigers Going to Make the Playoffs?

Porcello has been one of the better pitchers in the AL this year, so the Tigers have a nice chance at picking up a win and extending their lead. Things are looking good as we speak.

Tigers Playoff Picture Update: 9/15

Early in the season it seemed to be a foregone conclusion that the Tigers would run away with the AL Central and roll effortlessly into the postseason. That was before inconsistency set in. Now, the Tigers find themselves in a close race. They’ll have to play well down the stretch to keep their playoff dreams alive. This is your daily update on their mission to do just that.

Current AL Central Standings

  1. Detroit (83-66)
  2. Kansas City (81-67)
  3. Cleveland (76-72)
  4. Chicago (68-81)
  5. Minnesota (63-86)

The Tigers currently own a 1.5 game lead over the Kansas City Royals, who have been flirting with being a good team for the past couple seasons. We can only hope Kansas City’s youth and inexperience shine through for another year.

Current AL Wild Card Standings (GB)

  1. Oakland (+1.5)
  2. Kansas City (E)
  3. Seattle (-1)
  4. Toronto (-4)
  5. Cleveland (-5)

The Tigers currently hold the same record as Oakland, which puts them 2.5 games ahead of Seattle in the Wild Card picture — meaning they’re in decent shape for now.

What Happened Yesterday?

The Tigers swept the Racist Mascots out of town, beating up on Cleveland like they seem to do so often around this time of year. Kansas City, meanwhile, lost to the Red Sox, and Oakland beat Seattle for the second straight day.

What’s Happening Today?

The Tigers are starting a three-game set in Minneapolis tonight against the last-place Twins with Max Scherzer toeing the rubber. As long as the Tigers don’t play like shit against a lesser opponent, this is a great opportunity for them to extend their lead in the Central. The Royals are squaring off against the stupid fucking White Sox from Chicago. God, it pains me to have to root for the White Sox for the next few days, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet.

Are the Tigers Going to Make the Playoffs?

The Tigers have won 7 of their last ten, and have shown some guts with a couple come-from-behind victories. This could be a sign that the Tigers are hitting their stride at just the right time. No guarantees on that, but it looks good right now.

#TBT — The Pine Tar Incident

It’s Thursday, so let’s do like we do when the other team hits a homer. THROW IT BACK.

That time when Kenny Rogers used pine tar on his hand in the World Series.

6a012875949499970c0120a6930ff9970bThe Gambler! I maintain that this was not pine tar, but was actually chew spit. I can picture Kenny with a big ol’ digger in his cheek — so big that some nasty ass tobacco-laced saliva dripped from the corner of his mouth — wiping his chin with the heel of his hand and being like “Fuck it. Let’s go roast ‘em.”

There’s so much not to like about Kenny Rogers, but there’s also a lot to really, really like about him. Plus, I happen to like the stuff that makes him unlikeable to most. In other words, Kenny Rogers is a goddamn bad ass.

Displaced Fan Problems: Justin Verlander is Naked and Nobody Cares

Guys. In case you hadn’t heard, there was a big security breach to the iCloud server recently, and a bunch of celebs totes had their nude selfies posted all over the webiverse. People (dudes) are frothing at the mouth (and wherever else) about these pics because they include the likes of Kate Upton and Jennifer Lawrence and a bunch of other conventionally attractive Swimsuit Issue/Hollywood types. This security breach, bee tee dubs, has been named “The Fappening,” which, gosh you guys, is just fucking great to me.

But there’s a real problem with this whole thing, at least on my end. I want to talk about naked Justin Verlander, and nobody around me gives a shit.

The Tigers’ former ace has his naked ass all out there for the world to see, and I can’t even talk about it with anyone. If I was at the bar with my buddies I could be like “HEY GUYS HOW ABOUT THAT NAKED VERLANDER” and people wouldn’t even bat an eyelash. It’s strange how much geography influences weirdness when it comes to talking about pictures of naked dudes on the internet. In Detroit? Let’s talk about Verlander’s dick (which we’ve all basically seen anyway, what with those tight pants, AMIRITE?!). In central Illinois? Forget about it. NOBODY EVEN WANTS TO TALK ABOUT JUSTIN VERLANDER’S NAKED BODY HERE. What even is this place?

Can’t we all just talk about naked Justin Verlander? Leave comments below.